Quotes of the day
It’s so interesting how you meet someone and as the years or months go by you just wonder how this person got into your life or if you didn’t make a certain choice, decision or go to a certain place at the right time and then all of a sudden, boom! There he or she is, that one person who can change your life or even save it, that’s how I feel about my best friend, Rey, at first we didn’t get along because we had so much competition towards each other but as the months went on, it’s not what it seems to be, really their doing it because they care, as I started to get to know this mysterious kid who just kept to himself, I on the other hand was dealing with a lot if hurt and resentment and things from the pass that where following me when I tried to run away from my past, but no matter how fast or as far as we run away from it, it catches up with us. He was always there, he told me I didn’t have to be alone that I can get better, that I could overcome my fears along with my past, he told me I don’t have to go through this alone, as he was telling me this, I was so curious and nervous of why he cared so much, was his intentions wore to hurt me or help me? A lot of questions were running through my mind like a speedway. As I got to know him more their was just something about him something just makes him uniquely special, as I tried figuring that out, the more he started to help me and started to be there for me even more, and now I realize that he just has a passionate loving heart and soul he may act mean and tough towards everyone but to me I see it as a costume to hide himself from his hurt and the core of it. And my whole life is being changed because of him believing in me and never giving up on me. I think if I can stay closer to him I can get back on track I can save my future and passions I’ve been striving for, it’s a great feeling to have someone like that in your life fighting for you everyday, at the same time it makes me feel good that I can fight for him too.
I broke my own curse finally and I’m set free from the fear of losing the love ones I love the most, it doesn’t always end that way even if we want it too, we lose them because of life’s purposes in which we cannot understand but keep asking for reasons why they happen and end up with nothing in return and the other is when we push them away by fear of them getting to close or knowing what’s behind the thick brick walls that protect us when really it’s us hopeless hiding behind them, sheltering our selves. It’s a lonely place, a place where no one should have to spend temporary time, alone behind them, because I used to be a believer in the worst case scenario “scared of life” sort of thing, but really theirs nothing to even fear, what we fear is ourselves , fear of us not becoming who we want to be, being who we want to be, fear of getting hurt, fear of facing our problems, fear of wondering where we are going to be in the next ten years, we all have fears but how we react towards it is what determines what we are made out of, are we going to sit and wait and hope for the worst to happen or are we going to put down our shields and face our giants and be fearless, I know I can, because I did it, I was scared and risk a lot in the beginning of it because life is all about taking risk and being free, yes life is unpredictable, it’s what it’s known for, but really it’s what makes us the great people we turn out to be in the end and we all have story’s, what’s yours?
I have my reasons when it comes to me not trusting people, because when you feel safe and decide to break the walls down, theres always someone who fires and they always give up on you when things get tough or complicated so maybe I should see this as a lesson to the question I’ve been asking myself. Or people really there for you and care? And the answer is no, not really. My fear came to life, I pushed away the one person who cared and he’s not coming back, and I broke down the walls just for him and he rejected my offer and now he saw a good look inside and the only way to protect myself from letting him in is if I leave back home and start over again and make sure not to let no one in for good because its safer that way. After all this I suspected I would feel like drinking to numb my pain but the walls this time are built higher and stronger with thick bricks impossible to break! Suppressing every wound and the core to my problems, pain and sadness. I won’t lose hope though,maybe my happiness is not here but somewhere else out there. I know I’m close to finding it, it’s just going to take a little more time. I really am going to miss him though, he has a good heart and I’m happy for the person who is going to have him as a friend because they will probably appreciate him and won’t take him for granted and realize what he or she has is gold and worth so much that its priceless. Sorry I let you get away.